Non birth mothers: Children conceived before 6 April 2009
For children conceived before 6 April 2009, the non-birth mother has no automatic recognition as a parent, even if you are civil partners. This means that she has no legal authority to make decisions about your child's care, and her status is vulnerable if the birth mother dies or if you separate. Your child also has no automatic right of inheritance from her.
The new rules on parenthood do not apply retrospectively, so there is no way of re-registering the birth to recognise you both as the parents. However, you can take legal steps to acquire parental rights for the non-birth mother, and we can advise and assist you with this.
There are a number of options, including:
Adoption, which is permanent and gives you full and equal status as parents. The process can be straightforward (particularly if you have used a sperm bank donor), but it involves the courts and social services and takes time. If you have used a known donor, the position is more complex; his views will be taken into account by the court, and if you have named him on the birth certificate (giving him parental responsibility) he will need to consent to the order.
Parental responsibility, which can be quicker and easier to obtain but on its own confers lesser status. In many cases, parental responsibility is acquired to provide interim protection before an adoption order is granted.
Find out more about the differences between parental responsibility and adoptive parenthood.
Lesbian couples: how do we apply for adoption?
For a non-birth mother to apply for adoption, you need to first give notice in writing to your local authority and then wait three months before applying to court. You can submit your court application only once you have lived with your child for six months and the application usually takes at least 3-6 months to process. You can apply for adoption whether or not you are civil partners, although you do need to be a couple.
Contact us if you would like us to discuss the criteria and court process with you in more detail. We offer an easy fixed-fee service to help you avoid common pitfalls and problems. The court forms are also available on our donor conception area main page.
Lesbian couples: how do we acquire parental responsibility?
How a non-birth mother acquires parental responsibility depends on whether you are civil partners.
If you are civil partners, the non-birth mother is a step parent and you can sign a step-parent parental responsibility agreement (which all your child's parents must also sign, if they have parental responsibility). There are some instructions on the reverse of the form about what you need to do with the form, which involves visiting your local family court for a clerk or nominated official to witness your signatures.
If you are not civil partners, to acquire parental responsibility you need to apply to court for a residence order (which is an order made by the court saying who a child should live with). Although you can apply for a residence order immediately after the birth (unlike with adoption), the work and time involved may mean that it is easier to wait and make one application for adoption later.
If you would like us to take you through exactly what you need to do, please contact us.
Lesbian couples: the importance of making a Will
Where only one partner has parental status, a well-drafted Will can ensure both that the non-birth mother has a continued right to care for your child if the birth mother dies, and that your child has a right of inheritance from you both.
For children conceived without both partners being parents, this is the only way of giving the non-birth mother protection before your child is born, making it important to put in place appropriate Wills while you are pregnant.
If you would like us to help you to put in place appropriate specialist Wills, please contact us.
